John Diamond

Tom Hollander

William Jones

Christopher Guard

John Diamond

Robert James

David Jones

Eileen Page

Mrs. Jones

Charles Lewsen

Uncle Turner

Vanessa Paine

Rebecca

Damien Nash

Shot-in-the-Head

David Rappaport

Mr. Seed

Patrick Troughton

Joseph K'Nee

Joseph O'Conor

Alfred Diamond

Paul Mari

Jenkins

John Colclough

Mr. Walker

Steve Fletcher

Liverguts

Geoffrey Collins

Narrator